Monday, June 10, 2013

Kitty's Birth, a journal entry on the day she was born

Here is the entry I put in the journal I keep for Kitty, recalling her birth.

June 16th 2012 

You were born on Monday, June 11th at 6:13 in the morning 6lbs 17 1/2 inches, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen my Kitty Marlene. I had contractions starting Saturday at 7 in the morning, I was dreaming and woke up from the pain. Sunday all day I had contractions, I went for a walk early in the morning with your daddy, then a couple more throughout the day with your grandma. We ordered a pizza, I ate two pieces, then went into active labor. Your daddy and I went and lay down, he gave me a back rub and then my water broke around 11:30. I took a shower, then we headed down to the birth center. It was the hardest work I have ever done. Your daddy was so amazing. I remember thinking while we were still home that even though I was in so much pain, I was the happiest I had ever been in my life, there was so much love in the room and we were so so excited to meet you. When I was in the tub at the birth center, I thought about your grandpa Mellich and how bad I wished he was still here to meet you. I asked him and your great grandma Mellich for their strength. I can't describe the energy in the room, looking back I remember the pain, but I also remember this warm amazing feeling and the memory is nothing but good. Your head was turned a little funny and I got discouraged at one point, but then you moved down and my midwife, who was wonderful said, "baby has daddy's hair." That made me so happy and I got this burst of energy and laughed and then the sun was coming up through the windows and I pushed and pushed and your head and shoulders came out and they told me to reach down and take you and that moment, oh that moment Kitty, was the best moment of my entire life. Your daddy and I just laughed and laughed and cried. Then your daddy announced that you were a girl and my heart soared because in my heart I had known all along that you were and now I was meeting you and you were real and beautiful and perfect! I want to just stare at you all the time, hold you, smell you, kiss your little face, stroke your silky hair. Even now when you are sleeping in your daddy's arms, I miss you. We love you so so much, everyone always told me what this would feel like, but actually feeling it is something indescribable until you are there in that moment. Someday me sweet Kitty, you will be there too. And I am so grateful someday you will know what this feels like.

Happy 1st Birthday Kitty Marlene, you are my world and so much more than I ever dreamed.